Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
