You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
