She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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