You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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