It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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