whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's shark week go big or go home
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
