super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
