im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
