god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
