I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
