my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
