Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
