sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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