Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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