I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
