She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
