I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
