I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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