I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize