ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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