Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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