I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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