so that wasnt chicken after all
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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