I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
In other news, I just burned my penis
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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