My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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