All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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