I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So much Jack, so little girl.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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