I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
