The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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