i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
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