you're like a bully in the Christmas story
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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