i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
