smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
