dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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