whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
