so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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