I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
