I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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