i don't like sucking hair
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
