first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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