I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
