I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
