Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
