After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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