the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
