Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
