its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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