Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
