yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
