Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
