You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
