Just cropdusted the office
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
