Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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