If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
