Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
