Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
