Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My vagina just recognized that song.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
