Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We need to get me chipped asap
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
