I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
